The ability to “read” people is an art that requires serious preparation and constant practice. To understand the language of the body in order to see the true feelings, thoughts and intentions of others, the advice of the former FBI agent Joe Navarro will help.
Joe Navarro, former FBI agent and expert in the field of non -verbal communication. Life circumstances attracted the author’s body language: his family was sent from Cuba and moved to the United States, where an 8-year-old boy did not know English, learning to communicate with gestures. Work experience in the FSB helped Navarro supplement the knowledge of the body language. Joe Navarro shared his experience in the book “I see what you are thinking” (Storri, 2012). The material was created with information
support for SmartReading. Complete Sammari can be read here .
Detecting a lie is extremely difficult. The effectiveness of judges, police officers, FBI agents, teachers, parents and spouses in this case does not exceed the level of ordinary fortune telling (fifty to fifty). Even those who really have pronounced abilities to recognize deception are rarely right in 60% of cases. According to the well -known researcher, Ekman Paul Ecman’s emotions, the signals, which we most often take as signs of fraud, are mostly not talking about lies, but about stress. There is no element of behavior that would definitely testify to deception. The model of identification of dishonest behavior, developed by Joe Navarro, a former FBI agent and an expert in the field of non-verbal communication, is to find out how comfortable a person feels: you must agree, it is difficult to remain calm when you hide something.
Signs of comfort and discomfort
- In order to recognize the signs of discomfort in the interlocutor, create it comfortable conditions. How successfully you can recognize the fraud, your behavior in relation to the alleged liar also affects: how you are sitting (in what position and how close), how do you look at a person (suspicious or friendly) and with what intonation you ask questions.
- Make sure that there are no objects between you and the observation object (tables, chairs and other furniture). In addition, it should be borne in mind that liars tend to use obstacles or objects (for example, a pillow, bag or glass with water) to create a protective barrier between you. Such the use of objects indicates the desire to distance himself, is fenced off or hide.
- Other obvious signs of discomfort, manifested in people during difficult conversations: rubbing the forehead at the temple, squeezing the face with their palms, rubbing the neck and stroking the back of the head;rolling the eyes (a sign of disrespect), removing non -existent villi from the clothes, a demonstration of superiority over those who ask questions in the form of using monosyllabic, sharp, sarcastic answers or even gestures with indecent connotation;Various ways of “blocking” the eyes, crossing the hands on the chest, turning the body and feet from those with whom we do not agree.
However, weak visual contact or its complete absence cannot be considered proof of lies: in real life, scammers and born liars use eye contact much more active than most ordinary people, and literally glance at you with a look. The voice of a person who speaks a lie can become trembling or cracked. Stress is able to cause dry throat and provoke involuntary swallowing movements. This condition can be determined by the sudden sharp movements of Adam’s apple and attempts to clean the throat. Nevertheless, these elements of behavior are just discomfort indicators, and not evidence of fraud.
“Learn a liar in the expression”
Continuation of the bestseller “Psychology of Lie” Paul Ekman. The Treasury Book is conceived as a manual to drop other people’s masks, but also helps those who want to learn how to better hide their own feelings.
What else helps to see the deception?
Such characteristics as consistency and expressiveness of speech and behavior are also indicators of lies: if the interlocutor does not conceal anything, then he calmly and consistently sets out his version, accompanying speech with natural gestures.
- Conference is one of the manifestations of a comfortable state of a person. It is necessary to monitor (not) consistency between verbal and non -verbal messages, between the circumstances of the current moment and the fact that the object of observation says, between events and emotions, and even for the consistency of time and space. A typical example of the lack of consistency is the behavior of a person who claims: “I have not done this,” while his head nods affirmatively. If people catch themselves on this mistake, then immediately change the direction of the movements of the head, trying to correct the situation.
- Expressiveness is a universal sign of people’s sincerity, This is a way to give others to understand how strong our feelings are. Falsers, as a rule, decide what to say and how to deceive, but rarely think about what form to imagine a lie. Expressiveness is manifested both verbally and non -verbal. Verbal expressive means include the volume and height of the voice, intonation and repetitions of words. People who by nature tend to use hands in a conversation, strengthen their statements with expressive gestures and can even knock on the table. Others emphasize their thoughts with the help of fingers, gesturing them or touching objects. The expressive behavior of the hands serves as an additional confirmation of honesty in words, thoughts and feelings. The facial means of enhancing the emotional saturation of what has been said are the raising of the eyebrows and the eye expansion. Another manifestation of expressiveness is the tilt of the body forward when you need to show interest.
For more details see. In the book by J. Navarro, m. Carlins “I see what you think” (Potyrri, 2012). This and other submarines of useful books Read on the site Smartreading